Top Hat:A collection of Albert Simon Drabbles
by Ouroboros General
Summary: A series of random storys featuring everyones favorite top hat wearing megalomaniac Cardinal Albert Simon.


TOP HAT

A COLLECTION OF ALBERT SIMON DRABLES

A/N:Not sure what possesed me to write this. Maybe because there arent enough fics with My Favorite SH Villain

Plot:Albert Simon Has a random talk with Arcane Olga

Disclaimer:I do not own Shadow Hearts if I did I would have made From the new world a continuation instead of a cheap spinoff.

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Albert simon was sitting in the electric chair at the Calios Mental Hospital. His sanity wasnt what it used to be and he was seriously considering strapping himself to the chair and letting the electricity end his pain. Then from the dark gloom the old witch Arcane Olga appeared in a puff of smoke. Albert screamed. "AAHHH!!!! WHAT THE HELL OLGA!!!! Cant you see I was busy pondering the very meaning of Existence? KNOCK NEXT TIME!!! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WEAR THIS FROM NOW ON!!!!" Albert then pulled out a paper bag and jammed it over Olga's hideous face. A small sweat drop formed on Olga's head as she took it off. "Oh Master Bacon forgive me. I didnt realize it was that hour of the day when you get in a mood." Albert looked at her perplexedly. "Wha? Bacon? Oh right We havent gotten that far in the game yet." Albert then got up the chair and started pacing around. "You know Olga. I used to be Kickass. Well Technically Im still kickass because at the moment were in Shadow Hearts 1. But then Shadow Hearts Covenant came out and soon there were flashy villains everywhere. I mean in SH1 I was the COOL villain because you only had me and Dehuai to choose from...and noone in their right mind would ever pay attention to Dehuai. But then in Covenant there are not just one or even two But FIFTY FREAKIN BAD GUYS!!!! SAPIENTES GLADIO!!! RASPUTIN!!! ASTAROTH!!!! ASMODEUS!!! THE FRIKKEN MUTANT APES!!!! Oh my god even that nerd Kato somehow managed to get superpowers and turned evil." Albert then sat back down and sighed. 

Olga did not have a clue what her master was talking about and she was starting to regret coming into the room. But it was too late now. Albert was on a role "And dont even get me started on my origin story in that game. They almost screwed it up as bad as kingdom hearts did with Ansem or Xemnas or Frank...whatever the hell his name is. I WANTED TO DESTROY THE WORLD!!!! AND THEY MADE IT OUT LIKE I WAS JUST IN IT TO KILL RASPUTIN!!!! And KARIN WAS YURI"S MOTHER ALL ALONG!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT? And im dead now right? No way ill ever return except as a flashback...not even that because from the new world had nothing to do with anything...Hah...And theyre coming soon right? Coming to stop evil old Albert's evil scheme of evilly evil right? This is what? The 50th time that kid's played this game out of boredom? Maybe I should retire. Hang up the old suit and top hat and move to florida and spend the rest of my days playing golf with the rest of the dead or unpopular video game and Anime villains. Maybe it wouldnt be so bad. Id get to meet famous people like the pac-man ghosts and Cain From Trinity Blood and The First Sephiroth." That made Olga ask a question. "First Sephiroth?" Albert then rolled his eyes. "Are you RETARDED olga? The original Sephiroth is over 900 in video game character years. He retired ages ago. They use some lookalike for the new games."

Albert then sighed and stood up again. "Well Olga Im off to the old pub. Oh yeah I think that stupid kids at the point in the game where you die. See ya when Ill see ya." Olga's face turned white at that. "NO NOT AGAIN I DONT WANNA GO BACK TO THE DELETION BOX!!! THEY DO SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS THERE!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Olga then disappeared in a puff of smoke to be killed ruthlessly by Yuri and his friends. "Hmmmm...Theres something I should be feeling now. What was it? Compassion? Sympathy? Nah Im sure shell be fine in that deletion box. I hear the convicts there are more or less contained...I think."

Meanwhile at Dehuais tower in Shanghai, Dehaui was holding a gun to his head. "I wonder...will I dream?"

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Wow...I have no idea where that came from. Not sure if ill update this. But if theres a second chapter I might include Rasputin or the Forgotten characters of SH1 


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